Skip to main content

Home Culture Culture Sexuality

Matthew Mitcham on lying to his partner and working through infidelity: ‘I haven’t been the best husband’

"I’ve definitely caused a lot of pain and I still have a lot of shame for the lies and deception in my relationship"

By Jamie Tabberer

Luke Rutherford (left) and husband Matthew Mitcham (Images: Instagram/@matthewmitcham88)
Luke Rutherford (left) and husband Matthew Mitcham (Images: Instagram/@matthewmitcham88)

Matthew Mitcham has opened up about lying to his husband Luke Rutherford and how the pair overcame his infidelity.

The diver, who has also previously spoken of his battle with substance abuse, recently discussed the matter on SAS Australia.

Matthew, who won a Olympic Gold Medal for Australia in 2008, married Luke in 2020.

“I still struggle to be completely honest with my husband” – Matthew Mitcham

During a segment of the show about overcoming shame, Matthew chose to reflect on his marital strife.

“I am so ashamed of the immense pain I caused someone for 11 years and who stayed with me throughout my addiction,” he said.

“And even though I have been clean and sober for several years and that has been one of his absolute deciding factors, I still struggle to be completely honest with my husband.”

Matthew went on: “I haven’t been the best husband. I’ve definitely caused a lot of pain and I still have a lot of shame for the lies and deception in my relationship.

“I let my own insecurities, fears, and trust issues be bigger than a promise I made to him. And in doing so, I caused so much harm and serious damage to the relationship. So what I’m most ashamed to admit today is that I hurt the people who matter most to me because honesty is not one of my core values ​​and I’m a liar.”

Last month, Matthew spoke to Attitude about acting out sex scenes his new play Strangers In Between.

“The script is very sexy,” Matthew told us. “I got quite excited when I was reading through the sex scenes. Some of it is endearing, some of it is funny, and some of it is awkward. And that’s exactly what sex is, isn’t it? It’s really beautiful. When you actually act it out in real life, it’s not quite as erotic as what my fantasy had led me to believe that it would be because [as actors] we’ve all got a duty of care and responsibility.

“We do a body check before every show just to say what’s okay to touch and what’s not okay to touch. We’re just very respectful of each other and we’re very mindful of boundaries and we’re very mindful of appropriateness. What we show to the audience is very sexy but what we’re doing as actors is very safe and respectful.”