Friends is my all-time favorite TV show. I’ve seen every episode at least twice—probably more—and my thoughts about it are ever-changing. Sometimes I think Rachel should’ve stayed on the plane. Others times I don’t. About once a month I imagine what the show would have been like had Joey and Rachel stayed together, and I don't hate it. Oh, and I go back and forth all the time about whether I think Ross is hot.
But one thing that I’m pretty steadfast on is where I rank the six friends. To be clear, this ranking isn’t based on humor, looks, screen time, or some other shallow metric. It’s based solely on the goodness of each character—on which one is the least problematic, the most loyal, and the best…well, friend. Throughout the show’s ten seasons, we’ve seen the best and worst from Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross: their good qualities and bad ones, their strengths and shortcomings. But when you do the math, the good-to-bad ratio for some friends is much better than others.
My coworkers and I, for the most part, are in agreement with the ranking below. Let me preface this by saying I love all the friends in different ways; there are just some who’d be there for you more than others. Allow me to explain.
I think we all can agree that Ross is the worst. He’s certainly one of the funniest characters on the show, but as a person he’s just…kind of a menace? He freaked out when his son, Ben, wanted to play with a Barbie doll; ragged on Sandy, the male nanny, just because he was a guy; was uncomfortably possessive of Rachel during the Mark era (and beyond); and thought it was a good idea to wear leather pants on a date. Okay, that was actually funny, but the rest of what I listed still stands. Ross and his dinosaurs and rigid gender constructs can stay in 1994, thank you very much.
Chandler may very well be the funniest friend, but that doesn’t give his bad behavior a free pass. From his homophobic attitude toward his father to the time he fat-shamed Monica, so much of what he’s done is indefensible. Granted, he’s a caring, good friend when he wants to be, but those sweet moments are overshadowed by the times he made bad situations even worse with poorly timed sarcasm.
Rachel is my favorite friend. Even still, I had to rank her low on this list. She’s not as outrightly terrible as Ross and Chandler—no one is—but she’s a bit self-absorbed and ropes her pals into the most insane schemes. (Remember all the Joshua episodes?) She also was embarrassed to be seen with sweet Phoebe at the park when they decided to take up running. Unforgivable!
Phoebe may be flippant and flaky, but she’s so kind to her friends—and family. Remember when she carried triplets for her brother? Triplets! That alone earns her a spot in the top three, but Phoebe’s goodness goes beyond that. She’s unapologetic about who she is—please see the running I mentioned earlier, and “Smelly Cat”—and is, in many ways, the glue that keeps all of them together. Need I remind you it was Phoebe who brought Monica and Rachel back together in season six when they had their biggest fight ever. “Remember the Rollerblades? Oooh!”
Monica was a bit polarizing among my co-workers. Her detractors said she’s a control freak, neurotic, and a know-it-all—but none of those qualities, in my opinion, read as “bad.” She's type-A, but someone has to keep these bozos in line, right? Monica is a fiercely loyal friend—she let Rachel move in with her even though they hadn’t talked in years—loves being the hostess, and will make Thanksgiving special even when you can’t go home. Despite her always-on, competitive energy, she’s an oddly calming presence. Because she’s always there.
But no one is more there for his friends than Joey Tribbiani. As my coworker Jenny so accurately said, “Joey is untarnished, a righteous man among sinners.” Sure, that Joey-Rachel romance plot may have been ill-advised, but no one is more kind, dependable, and loyal than this guy. He ate all of Rachel’s disgusting Thanksgiving trifle; took dancing lessons with the superintendent so Monica and Rachel could keep their apartment; and even stopped eating meat because vegetarian Phoebe was craving it during her pregnancy. If that isn’t friendship, then what is? Take back the friendship bracelet you gave Chandler, Joey. You deserve it…and the world.
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