Fringes, 2023

Fringes is at once a tallit (Jewish prayer shawl) with tzitzit (fringes) as well as a topographical map exploring coming-of-age and radical acceptance. I created it as a gift for my daughter Noa as a record of her bat mitzvah, held in May 2022–a wearable reminder that she is seen and loved for exactly who she is. It debuted as a site-specific installation at FENTSTER in Toronto in July 2023.

Fringes maps time and place. I transformed photographs into land masses to create a geography of Noa’s relational ecosystem and then combined them with the actual contours, waterways and grid lines of Montreal, where the bat mitzvah was held. At the center is Noa at her bat mitzvah, flanked by two friends; the lines branch out to become images of Noa’s family when we were all 13—myself and her father, an uncle, and her grandparents, as well as previous generations who loved and accepted us.

Instead of numerical coordinates, the edges of the map are the initials of the people who witnessed Noa’s rite of passage, including those who attended the bat mitzvah virtually. The corners are directional compasses with symbols referencing neurodiversity and Judaism, each displaying a different date: 2022 (Noa’s bat mitzvah), 1986 (my bat mitzvah), 1956 (when my mother turned 13), and 1922 (the first bat mitzvah, held 100 years before Noa’s). The Hebrew that doubles as the map’s title as well as the atarah (the decorative panel that rests over the neck) is a translation of a modern blessing by Marcia Falk we say over our children every Friday night on Shabbat: “Be who you are, and may you be blessed in all that you are.”

Over the past few years, I’ve come out as queer, polyamorous, and neurodivergent. During this time, I’ve developed greater courage to be myself and to follow the paths I feel pulled to. I’ve put down some maps I’d expected myself to follow.

Through Fringes, I ask what happens if we let go of our maps for our children as well. What does it mean to live the blessing that inspired the project? Can we truly accept that our children are who they are, whatever form that takes, and affirm that, especially during the wilderness of adolescence? Can we approach parenting, and our own lives, as a creative adventure, despite uncertainty about the future or the fear of judgement? Fringes imagines the possibilities of a new landscape of belonging–a world in which we not only accept but celebrate all of our beauty, imperfections, and complexities, as well as our young people’s, and support one another as we each navigate our own journeys towards who we are becoming.

With thanks to: Evelyn Tauben / FENTSTER, Sara Borer, Na’ama Freeman, Rabbi Moishe Steigmann / Own Your Judaism, Rabbi Aaron Levy and Makom, the Mile End Chavurah, Noa Goldstein, and all of our friends and family.