The Collected Wisdom: Chad Hennings

Age: 44; Residence: Flower Mound, Texas

Chad Hennings graduated from the Air Force Academy in 1988, then flew 45 missions in Northern Iraq as part of Operation Provide Comfort. In 1992, Hennings left the Air Force and joined the Dallas Cowboys as a 27-year-old rookie defensive tackle. He played nine years in the NFL, all with the Cowboys, and won three Super Bowls. Hennings became a Christian motivational speaker and recently authored a book, "Rules of Engagement: Finding Friendship, Faith and Strength in a Disconnected World."

Looking back at all my experiences, flying jets, playing for the Cowboys, looking at why I was successful, prompted me to write on the importance of relationships as well as the leadership of men.

It's indicative of our culture. Look at Tiger Woods. Celebrities, athletes, politicians, church leaders, businessmen. They have moral failures.

We were created for relationships. Having strong, masculine relationships where they can affirm you and hold you accountable. It's much easier sharing that burden than flying solo.

When I turned 40, I started getting more philosophical on life. Looking back on my life, it would have been much easier for me to go through those challenges if I had those relationships.

Friends are important. But these kinds of relationships go deeper than that. It's not coming after you, judging you. It's who you can call at any point, knowing that they are always there. Essentially, they're your wingmen.

Flying combat, we have rules of engagement. These rules are written in bold. Some bust those rules of engagement. It can cost them their life. Same with life, if you bust some of these rules. It's going to cost you financially, it's going to cost you relationships, it's going to cost you your family. You're going to wake up and say, how the heck did I find myself in this position?

I think athletics teach you how to be an individual in a team sport. The commitment of performing hard work. How to win and how to lose.

Flying for the Air Force and playing for the Cowboys, in their own rights, they're both physically demanding. Very similar. In the Air Force, I studied my enemy and studied my own weapons systems. It's perfection by practice. Our game time in the Air Force was actual runs.

In football, you prepare yourself physically to play. You learn to play with teammates. It's very similar in outlook and culture.

Mentally, definitely flying jets is tougher. You have to concentrate, learn how to think, 15-20 minutes ahead. If this happens, depends where I go. What am I going to do? In football, you can take a break, get a rest.

My teammates in Dallas, I don't think I've ever laughed louder than with Mark Tuinei, Nate Newton, Charles Haley. Coaching staffs, Fisher DeBerry at Air Force, back to high school, I've had mentors on every level that taught me lessons that lasted a lifetime.

Growing up in Van Horne, Iowa, I'm sure it's the same growing up in small towns in Oklahoma. You learn the American work ethic. I grew up on a farm. Our farm had been in the family for 125 years. That's what it taught me, the legacy of who we are as a nation. That's the blueprint of who we are as an American people.