One of the hardest parts of having any mental health issue is reaching out for help and letting your loved ones in on how you're feeling. That's why it was so moving to see Willow Smith speak to her mom, Jada Pinkett Smith, and her grandmother, Adrienne Banfield Jones, about her history with self-harm on the latest episode of their show, Red Table Talk.
The trio discussed the concept of surviving loss. After Jada talked about losing a friend to brain cancer, she asked Willow about the most difficult loss she'd ever experienced and was shocked to learn that her daughter had once engaged in self-harm.
"I would have to say, honestly, I feel like I lost my sanity at one point," Willow said. "It was after that whole 'Whip My Hair' thing and I had just stopped doing singing lessons and I was kind of just in this gray area of, 'Who am I? Do I have a purpose? Is there anything I can do besides this?'"
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After her tour and the promotion she did, Willow said she didn't want to finish her album. "And after all of that kind of settled down and it was like a kind of lull, I was just listening to a lot of dark music," she said. "It was just so crazy, and I was plunged into this black hole, and I was, like, cutting myself."
Both Jada and Adrienne admitted that they had no idea Willow had gone through this as a preteen, and they asked her to share more about the experience. "[It was] on my wrist," Willow said. "I mean, you can't even see it, but there's still a little something there. But, like, totally lost my sanity for a moment there."
She noted that only one friend knew she was self-harming. "I never talk about it because it was such a short, weird point in my life. But you have to pull yourself out of it," she said.
Although people may use self-harm for different reasons, for many, it's a coping mechanism that develops in response to intense feelings of hopelessness, anger, or loneliness. It's important to remember that people who hurt themselves don't necessarily intend to kill themselves, although they may be at a higher risk for suicide.
When her mom and grandma asked her why she thought she had turned to self-harm, Willow replied, "I honestly felt like I was experiencing so much emotional pain but my physical circumstances weren't reflecting that."
Jada hypothesized that Willow's self-harm made that emotional pain more "tangible" or "real"—"instead of, like, a ghost in your mind." Willow agreed, adding that she didn't self-harm for very long.
Unfortunately, not everyone is able to break out of their self-harm patterns so quickly. If you're engaging in self-harm, seek help and support from a loved one or professional.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text Crisis Text Line at 741-741.
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