A family divided

“Wait until you see this one,” Ted Isoldi said, leafing through a stack of photographs.

“I think this is such a sad picture,” he said, handing over a smaller stack. “It’s a heartbreaker.”

The photo, which Isoldi had shot slightly from the side, shows a woman cradling a young girl to her chest. The woman’s right arm is wrapped around the girl’s head, reaching under the girl’s left arm. The woman’s left hand sits on the girl’s head.

They both have been crying. Their noses are red and their eyes and cheeks are shiny. The track of a tear can be seen on the girl’s left cheek and her water-filled eyes reflect light back at the camera.

The girl’s face shows pure sadness, while the woman, staring off into the distance, seems resigned.

Shortly after this picture was taken, the girl, Nadeen Seder, 8, left her mother, Alia Makahleh, and returned to her father, Nahed “Ned” Seder, all formerly of Mercer County.

Although Seder no longer speaks directly to his ex-wife and fears some of her family members, his heart also was shaken when his daughter returned to him.

“It eat me up when she said good-bye to her mom,” he said. “Her mom, I know she loves her.”

Nadeen is at the center of a complicated custody proceeding that involves the local and federal governments of two countries. But, that picture was taken during a breakthrough of sorts — the first time mother and daughter had seen each other in nearly four years.

“Oh, my god, it was like happiness — and more than happiness,” Ms. Makahleh, reached at home in Amman, Jordan, said of spending the better part of two days with her daughter.



•••

Nadeen doesn’t understand why her parents are not together.

She doesn’t understand why she lives with her father in Canfield, Ohio, while her mother lives seven time zones away.

Her parents said she asks them about the living arrangement, and they are not ready to tell her the whole truth.

After the couple split up, a custody order was set in Mercer County. Ms. Makahleh had moved back to Jordan and was granted a four-month visit from her daughter in 2001, but she did not send the girl back home as she was supposed to do. Jordanian law was on her side, as it does not recognize U.S. law.

In June 2004, Seder spirited Nadeen out of Jordan.

Seder, a naturalized American citizen, said he still fears that Ms. Makahleh’s family will try to snatch the girl. A comment from one of his ex-wife’s brothers stays with him: “what goes around comes around.”

Despite the animosity between Seder and Ms. Makahleh, Seder said he “respects” his ex-wife because they share a child, and believes their daughter needs to know her mother.

He allows the girl to display pictures of Ms. Makahleh in their home, even though, he said, his ex-wife did not allow pictures of him in her home.

The little girl needs the attention of another female in her life, Seder said.

So, when Isoldi, Ms. Makahleh’s local attorney, suggested a visit, he hesitantly agreed to it.

The visit was a logistical nightmare for Isoldi. First, he needed permission from Mercer County Common Pleas Court Judge Thomas R. Dobson, who presides over the custody issues, and District Attorney James P. Epstein. Hermitage police filed a charge of interfering with the custody of children against Ms. Makahleh, and a warrant on the charge still was active.

Isoldi said he had to convince Dobson the visit was the right thing to do, and that everyone would be safe.

As if the potential visit wasn’t already complicated enough, Isoldi had to deal with the fact that Ms. Makahleh is not allowed in the U.S. She was deported and, at the time of the visit — Nov. 10 and 11 — the criminal charge was still hanging over her head.

The visit was set for Niagara Falls, Canada. Isoldi arranged rooms at the Embassy Suites, overlooking the horseshoe falls. Ms. Makahleh flew in with her husband and father, and Isoldi drove Seder and Nadeen.

Isoldi said he had a lot of explaining to do to Canadian immigration authorities at the border. “They took a lot of notes,” he said, but the trio was allowed to continue to the motel.

•••

“She’s so cute,” Ms. Makahleh said of seeing her daughter after the long separation. “She’s so beautiful.”

Ms. Makahleh, who said living without Nadeen has been “like a hell,” also noticed how tall the girl has gotten.

“She’s growing up so fast.”

The two packed a lot into the visit, which lasted from noon on the 10th to 4 p.m. on the 11th. They swam together, played games, colored pictures, made bracelets, put makeup on each other and talked — a lot.

They reminisced about the places they would go together, the things they would do together, when Nadeen lived with her mom. Ms. Makahleh updated Nadeen on family members the girl had met.

“She remembered everything that happened in the past, when she lived with me,” said Ms. Makahleh, 33, who also has a 1è-year-old son.

But, Nadeen has a new life now. A life of the Cheetah Girls and Hannah Montana. Of shopping and attention from anyone who will give it to her. She likes to laugh and demands that her dad read her funny stories.

“Nadeen is a beautiful child who bears a smile on her face every day,” Seder said.

A smile that covers a fact that would bring frowns to others — that one parent will have to be absent as a guiding force in her life.

There was no attempt to pretend that that fact does not exist during the Niagara Falls trip. As part of the agreement, no one could leave the motel, and Isoldi had to be with Nadeen and Ms. Makahleh whenever they were together. Seder stayed elsewhere in the motel, and Nadeen slept in his room.

While Seder hopes one day he will stand “on common ground” with his wife’s family — where everyone has forgotten the past, and no one fears the other — that day has not arrived. Not even after these two seemingly important events:

• Ms. Makahleh, her parents and her brother signed an agreement that all parties would remain safe and that Seder would leave Niagara Falls with the girl.

• Ms. Makahleh’s father, Samir, came to Seder’s room and asked to escort Nadeen to her mother. Seder said he shook the man’s hand and expressed no reservation, but felt he had no choice than to the honor the man’s request.

“Thank God everything worked out,” Seder said.

Both sides agree that Isoldi was the reason it worked out. Seder said his ex-wife’s attorney “worked his butt off to make it happen.”

“He was a real gentleman,” Ms. Makahleh said.

“I really want to thank the judge and the DA for having the confidence in me to pull this off,” said Isoldi, who had never met Ms. Makahleh in person prior to the Niagara Falls trip. “I’m glad that the father had enough faith and trust in me to make sure that his daughter would remain safe.”

Although Isoldi was willing to undertake all the work that it required to pull off the trip, he said such stringent requirements could easily have been avoided.

“This case stressed the importance of parents following court orders. The problems of the case arise from the parents failing to abide by the custody order,” said Isoldi, who includes Seder in that summation. “A lot of these problems could have been avoided.”

Isoldi and Ms. Makahleh said it is her intention to abide by court orders. She said it is her “wish” that such visits can be made again.

A small step toward that happening was taken following the trip when Epstein asked that the criminal charge be withdrawn, to which Hermitage police concurred.

In his petition for dismissal, Epstein noted Ms. Makahleh is not allowed to enter the U.S., she poses no threat to public safety, and there will be no effort to try to extradite her.

Isoldi said he believes his client has suffered enough.

“She’s been punished by not seeing her daughter for four years,” Isoldi said. “I think that’s more punishment than the court could ever impose on her.”

Seder said Ms. Makahleh can only blame herself for what she has suffered.

“She put us in this,” he said.