Few lyrics in the history of popular music convey the power of a strong market brand more plaintively than Janis Joplin's Mercedes Benz. "Oh Lord," she sings with appropriate religious fervour, "won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz/My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends."
In making a supplication to consumer yearning, Joplin showed that naked materialism could be spiritual, too. For surely even the most zealous theists among us must occasionally suspect that the presence of a God does not fully compensate for the absence of a Merc.
Nevertheless, we can feel confident that the legendary folk-rock diva was not asking her maker for the Mercedes-Benz A 170 Avantgarde SE. Why? First, because Joplin recorded her song in 1970, and the Mercedes A-class did not appear until 1997. And second, the A-class was never going to be the answer to anyone's prayer.
Instead it was produced as the answer to several conflicting needs of the modern driver. It was small and yet quite spacious. It was fairly fuel efficient but retained a bit of oomph. And, while not exactly cheap, it didn't cost as much as other Mercedes cars.
Put all that together and it spelt success, or it did once Mercedes learned how to rectify the unfortunate habit the early A-class had of tipping over. A Swedish car magazine noted that the car overturned when trying to avoid a moose - a manoeuvre known as Algtest, or "Elk test".
So Mercedes installed electronic stability control and, along with the revolutionary impact absorption system, it made the car just about the safest location in which to find yourself outside of a nuclear bunker.
But nowadays the roads are crammed with cars that look like the A-class, and nearly all of them are much cheaper. What does the new A 170 have to offer? Better fuel efficiency. Essentially, though, it's the same old car. It handles well, offers good vision, it's robust in a city setting and not too laboured on the motorway, and it's pretty comfortable.
But whereas once it occupied a position of multiple purposefulness, it now seems more like a victim of competing concepts. It's neither modest enough to be a knockabout nor smart enough to be a knockout.
In this age of carbon guilt, it's when your friends all drive Priuses that you must make amends. If 10 years ago the A-class was a cheapish option for those who wanted to look upmarket, today it's more like an upmarket choice for those who want to look cheap.
Paying for the name is one thing, but paying for the name in the name of efficiency is a bit rich. It's no longer the cars but the customers that get turned over. Brand premium is the elephant in the corner. Or perhaps it's an elk.