The Simpsons killed Bart? It's not the scariest stunt they've pulled

A new episode of The Simpsons isn’t really a new episode of The Simpsons any more. It’s just an empty vehicle that’s been exclusively designed to generate grabby headlines about its increasingly twitchy plot points. A new episode of The Simpsons is a desperate bid for attention. It’s Timmy O’Toole screaming from the bottom of a well. That’s all it is.

Most recent Simpsons episodes have gained more attention for their ability to inspire press releases than for their actual content. When it was revealed that Lena Dunham would finally split Homer and Marge up? It made headlines, but you’d be hard pushed to find anyone who could lovingly recite a joke from the episode. When the show hinted that it would kill off Krusty? Exactly the same. It hasn’t happened yet, but you should probably brace yourself for more empty wind when Smithers finally comes out to Mr Burns this series. Every time this happens, the announcement comes off like nothing less than a frantic attempt to keep up with the times. The desperation is palpable. It’s as if Gil Gunderson has taken over as showrunner.

And now Bart Simpson is dead. Admittedly he died during last night’s Treehouse of Horror episode, where he’s already died countless times before – in XXI he was hanged, in XX he was stabbed, in XI he somehow managed to be beaten to death by a mob and then drowned, in X he exploded, in IX he was in a skateboard accident – so it doesn’t really count. But still, the announcement of Bart’s death still managed to stir up the cauldron of headlines and hot takes so effortlessly that the actual death ended up seeming like an afterthought.

Which is a shame, because last night’s Treehouse of Horror episode was actually notable. Not for how clever or funny it was – although John K’s typically ornate couch gag was particularly beautiful – but as an indication of how much The Simpsons has come to hate itself. Because while Bart has died before, we’ve never lingered over his corpse as gleefully as this. In fact, Bart was murdered so early in the episode that most of his Treehouse segment simply consisted of various close-ups of Bart’s body in increasingly disturbing states of decomposition. We saw his skin sag. We saw his jaw drop. We saw him disemboweled. His body was used as a backpack, his mouth as a target for golfballs. It was desecration, pure and simple.

And then, once that was done, we saw him reanimated and murdered again and again and again in what seemed like a weird moment of cathartic self-commentary on the show’s part. At one point, Bart even cried “Ay carumba!” a split-second before his head was graphically staved in. It felt like wish-fulfilment, like the writers were finally taking it out on a go-nowhere character who’s held the show back for two decades, like they were smashing their way out of the prison they’d unwittingly built for themselves. Smack! That’s for Do the Bartman. Thwack! That’s for all the sub-par merchandising you’ve generated. Crunch! That’s for making “Don’t have a cow” a thing.

You came away from the episode wondering if this is how The Simpsons will finally go out. If, instead of fading into irrelevance, it’ll simply destroy itself in a blaze of blood and gore and abject self-hatred. If that’s the case, maybe we should back off and let the show get on with it. If that happens, at least the headlines would be worth it.