The recent death of Sen. Dianne Feinstein following a prolonged period of evident cognitive decline has put the spotlight on other public officials who may face similar issues, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and President Joe Biden. The Onion examines the pros and cons of keeping senile politicians in office.
We gain the wisdom of those who have seen Death’s face and know his name.
Might give other old people impression they’re still useful to society.
They’re clueless enough to accidentally reveal what they really believe.
Prevents younger politicians from developing much-needed corruption skills.
Normalizes having strokes at work.
Would have to learn a new name.
Less capable of fleeing from angry mob of citizens.
Gives control to their even more evil staffers.
Terrifying to consider a politician with their full faculties intact.
Too on-the-nose a symbol for America’s irreversible decline.